


Fuck Me In the Ass Cause I Love Jesus

by radicalhufflepuff



Category: Left Behind - Jerry B. Jenkins & Tim LaHaye
Genre: Crack, Humor, Incest, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Humor, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-21 14:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2471612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radicalhufflepuff/pseuds/radicalhufflepuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the rooftop, Buck realizes that obeying God means submitting fully to the Antichrist, and to his own lust. Includes allusions to the terrible theology of the original writers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Getting Off Without Going to Hell

Buck and Nicolae stood on the roof above the beautiful lights of the city and underneath the beautiful lights of the stars. “You are on the same team as I, yes?” asked Nicolae.

 

Buck wasn't sure how to respond. Of course he would say yes, he had to have the Antichrist believe his lies so that he could stay close to him for God and Jesus. He loved Jesus, loved him so very much, and he would do anything for him, follow him all the way to the very sanctum sanctorum of the Antichrist.

 

“Of course,” said Buck, “I'm with you all the way.”

 

Nicolae cocked his head to the side, “I am not sure you understand. I do not mean my team politically.” The Antichrist hooked his thumbs through his belt loops, angling his pointer fingers towards his crotch.

 

Buck was confused. It was God's plan to destroy the world, he had no intentions of opposing the Antichrist politically, so what did Nicolae mean?

 

Nicolae sighed. These Americans were so obtuse. “I know you normally bat right-handed, but are you a switch hitter?”

 

Buck blushed. This was an uncomfortable question. How did Nicolae know he was ambidextrous? He'd always hidden it, known that it just wasn't acceptable to go from one hand to the other, people disapproved. He hardly used his left hand at all anymore, and when he did, it was in shameful ways, ways that God did not approve of.

 

“Come closer,” said Nicolae. Buck obeyed, anything the Antichrist wanted had to be part of God's plan. Obeying God meant obeying Satan. Nicolae nodded, and stepped closer himself. Then he breathed in Buck's scent, the scent of airplanes and newsprint, the scent of virginity.

 

Buck had never been smelled by another man before, God's plan had never seemed so obscure, or so delightful. Because, oddly, it _was_ delightful to have this evil man so close,  so intimate. When Nicolae stepped behind him and began massaging Buck's neck, he didn't flinch as perhaps he ought to, trusting in God to protect him from any ill intentions on Nicolae's part.

 

Nicolae's lips brushed the back of Buck's neck  and his hands migrated down towards the buttons of Buck's shirt.  Buck did not stop him,  did not want to stop him because God wanted this, did not stop him because he wanted it too.  As Nicolae's hands worked the buttons, he felt a third appendage working on his tie. He looked down to see a fleshy tentacle, suckers helping it to hold the tie despite their otherwise silky smoothness.

 

By now, Buck realized what was happening.  He wasn't sure what the correct thing to do was. God hated the abomination of homosexuality, but God also wanted him to serve the Antichrist, to learn his plans,  to learn everything he possibl y  could about him. Everything.

 

Buck turned to face the Antichrist, shrugging of his shirt and moving in for the kiss. He had never been kissed before, and  tried a little too much tongue . But Nicolae was an experienced lover, who had taken a thousand men to his bed before now.  Buck was, it was true, the ultimate prize, so he could be patient. “ Shh, shhh,” he whispered. “Just relax, follow my lead.” His lips locked tenderly with Buck's, and held them for a sweet moment, then released.  Again his lips touched Buck's quivering lips,  held, and released.  His hands held Buck's face and the two were consumed with the passion of the kiss.

 

Then Buck felt a tug on his waistband. As both of Nicolae's hands remained on his face, something else was pulling on it.  This was it, he realized. The moment when he had to decide for certain whether God wanted him to remain pure for Jesus' coming or to submit fully to the Antichrist for the sake of his Glory.  But the decision came easily, he wanted, needed, to know Nicolae.  He sank completely into his embrace  and surrendered himself.

 

Buck's pants came off easily, helped along by the slime oozing from Nicolae's tentacle,  a tentacle that was now slowly circling his asshole,  moistening it for what he knew must come, for what had to come.  He moaned as the tentacle finally entered him, massaging him inside as Nicolae's hands massaged him outside.

 

B y now Buck was beyond trying to understand how this fit into God's plan. He trusted that it did, trusted that God wanted him to be fucked in the ass, and he loved Jesus for it, loved him more than he ever had before.

 

“I am glad you have decided to help feed the world. And we can start tonight,” murmmered Nicolae while bending him over so that Buck's face was on the same level as his crotch. He unzipped his pants, and let out his erect cock which Buck, not even thinking, took eagerly into his mouth.

 

_So this is how feeding the world is evil_ ,  thought Buck, unable to voice his concerns due  in equal parts to his cover and the  dick in his mouth.  Normally this would be evil, he knew, but nothing God demanded of a Christian could be evil. Abraham had been ordered to sacrifice his son,  how could Buck be any less willing to sacifice his virignity to Satan?

 

And Buck was willing, he had no doubts that this was what he was meant to do, what God had intended for him even in his mother's womb.  He was intended to be the fucktoy of Nicolae Carpathia, and that was all he could ever, would ever, ask for again.

 

“Come for me, Buck,” whispered Nicolae, “Come for me while I am in your mouth.” He continued to massage Buck's prostate, continued to run his hands over Buck's back. Buck came almost at once, semen spurting over Nicolae's pants and shoes. Nicolae came moments later, his taste filling Buck's mouth, dribbling down his chin.

 

As if in a dream, Buck found himself asking, “Can I clean up?” Nicolae nodded and Buck knelt by his feet, eager to lap up the mixed cum on the Antichrist's shoes. The tentacle stayed inside him, filling him in a way that Jesus never would and  he  began to lovingly lick Nicolae's feet  and the ground beside them.

 


	2. I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicolae and Buck meet at the Wailing Wall. A partial parody of the cookie subplot.

Buck was anxious. It had been a week since that glorious night on the rooftop and he hadn't heard from Nicoale since then. As the greatest investigative reporter of all time, he felt snubbed; as a Christian, he worried that God would be disappointed if he didn't get fucked soon. He kept his cell phone with him at all times, checking and re-checking it several times a minute in case Nicolae had called.

Rayford tried to encourage him. “Don't worry, Buck,” he would say. “You're far too cute for Nicolae to be able to stay away.” But Buck worried that the Antichrist viewed their encounter as a one-night stand, not the start of a relationship that would last until eternity. He spent his nights in insomnia, his days on his knees.

So to say that Buck was delighted when the Antichrist called him would be like saying that the Great Wall of China was long. “Mr Williams, please forgive me for not calling sooner. I have been very busy bringing peace to the world.” As a Christian, Buck had to forgive him, but he was still hurt. But there was no time for that. Besides, how could he stay angry with Nicolae?

“Buck, I need you, please come to me. I will have Rayford fly you to Jerusalem immediately.”

***

They met at the Wailing Wall. With the Temple rebuilt; no one went to the Wall to pray any more. The two prophets were there, but that made it more exciting somehow. With Elijah and Moses looking on, Buck and Nicolae embraced.

“Buck, I have longed to take you again, I have ached for you, but alas, I have no time for a repeat of our last night together.”

Buck looked down, trying to hide his disappointment. He had prepared for this, spent time with Jesus asking him for help in pleasing Nicolae, shaved his pubes, given himself an enema. But it had been for naught, he would not get to have the sweet taste of Nicolae's cock or tentacle, would not be able to prove his love to Jesus by taking it up the ass again and again.

“ _B_ _e ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord_ ,” Buck heard the prophets chanting.

Nicolae touched his chin, lifting Buck's head to face him. “Do not worry, Buck. I have a gift for you to make up for that regrettable lack.” He reached into his pocket to pull out a strange object, something Buck had never seen before.

“What is it?” he asked.

“It is a butt plug. I want you to keep it inside of you at all times.” 

Realization struck Buck. Just as the Spirit of God filled him at all times, so too would the Antichrist. He had never been so pleased, so grateful for the role God had given him. “Will you put it in me?” he begged. He wanted to feel Nicolae's hands and tentacle on his body, to have them fondle and grope at him, to enter him, even if only for a moment.

Nicolae was as eager as Buck, without hesitation he unbuckled Buck's belt with his tentacle as his hands squeezed Buck's butt. Buck hadn't worn underwear tonight, so as soon as his pants were down, he was exposed. Nicolae grinned at the sight of Buck's hard cock briefly bending down to take into his mouth, giving Buck a small hint of the pleasure he could provide, a pleasure rivaled only by the glories of Heaven itself. 

In that moment, Buck was reminded of why he was doing this. Oh yes, it felt good, felt wonderful, but it was not for his own pleasure that he was letting the Antichrist suck his cock and plug his butt, it was for Jesus' pleasure, Jesus' glory. And that knowledge was more satisfying than all the riches of the world could ever be.

“ _In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you._ ”

Nicolae released Buck's dick and used his tentacle to lube Buck's asshole, then expertly slid the plug inside. Buck sighed, letting his body relax in Nicolae's arms, letting the plug enter and fill him. “Thank you,” he said, not sure whether it was the Antichrist or God he was thanking.

“I have another surprise for you, Buck,” said Nicolae. “This plug comes with something special.” He pulled out his phone and pressed a button. Suddenly, the plug began to vibrate, and Buck sank to his knees, overwhelmed with pleasure. If he died right now and went to Heaven, he wasn't sure he would even notice the difference.

Nicolae turned off the vibrator and lifted Buck to his feet, kissing him passionately for a brief moment. “I have one inside of me, too,” he told his lover. “The same button turns it on. I am giving a speech tomorrow, and I want you to watch it. I will press the button and you, and you alone, will know that during that speech we are both feeling the same thing, that we are united in something beautiful that we share with no one else.”

Buck, of course, would also be sharing it with Jesus, but Nicolae couldn't know that. Buck sighed, conflicted about his lies. He had to let the antichrist stuff his asshole for Jesus, but at the same time Jesus wanted him to be honest with his lover. Buck himself wanted to be honest with his lover. "Nicolae?" Buck asked, "would you object at all to bringing in a third person?"

"Of course not my sensual prince. I have a feeling Rayford has wanted this for just as long as we have."

Of course Buck had meant Jesus instead of Rayford, but the thought that Jesus was so pleased with his handling of the situation that he would allow him to also be fucked by Rayford filled him with such heavenly glory that he came right there.

Nicolae had left, vanished in the same moment as Buck's orgasm. But Buck didn't mind, he was already looking forward to Nicolae's speech and to continuing to serve God with all his heart, mind, and soul.

“ _Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded,_ ” the prophets chanted into the night as Buck left, filled with the joy of the Lord.

 


	3. Ringing Satan's doorbell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief masturbatory interlude. Includes a semi-incestuous fantasy on Chloe's part, but no actual incest.

“No,” said Rayford “I know God has called you to be the Antichrist's fucktoy, and that is righteous, for all that God wills is righteous, but I am called to be his pilot, to fly him around the world so that he may bring ruin to the world, for thus has God willed.”

 

“But Captain Steele,” Buck was always careful to give Rayford his proper title, “Nicolae _expects_ you. You'll disappoint him if you don't show up.”

 

Rayford nodded. “I will pray to God for his guidance. You should pray too.”

 

On the other side of the world, Chloe Steele woke up, filled with a desire to pray for her father.  She climbed out of bed and knelt, and prayed to God  to guide her father in making the right decision;  she also prayed to God to call more Christians to pray for her father.  As the minutes passed, more and more Christians began to pray to God. Those who knew Rayford prayed for him, those who did not simply prayed to God that he fulfill his purpose in calling them to prayer.

 

God must have heard the prayers, for soon Rayford began to feel an emptiness inside him that he had never felt before.  He  _ needed _ his ass to be filled  with cock, just as his heart was filled with Jesus. 

 

But Buck and Nicolae were both far away that night,  so Rayford spent the night with is first and truest love: his phone. It made an imperfect dildo, true, but phones meant everything to Rayford, they were his truest link to the rest of the world, to Buck, to other Christians. Rayford didn't know too much about what Heaven would be like, but he often imagined it as a huge grid of telephone booths, with everyone talking to everyone else on the phone.  O, the bliss that was the telephone!

 

But God had created a void in him that the telephone, glorious as it was, was not meant to fill.  No, this was a void meant to be filled with the hot cock and tentacle of the Antichrist.  Knowing Jesus did not want him to cum for anyone save his greatest enemy, Rayford denied himself the orgasm he craved; he was saving himself for Nicolae.

 

–

 

Truth required Chloe to confess to God that she was not simply praying for him to lead her father to follow God's will, but for God's will to be fucked by the Antichrist.  She had long fantasized about various  male relatives getting fucked, a fantasy she had felt forced to abandon when she accepted Jesus in her heart.  But it was clear to her now that there were times when God permitted men to be fucked,  and she thanked Jesus that this was so.

 

Chloe, still on her knees praying for her father, was suddenly hit with a vision from  G od. Her eyes shot open and she collapsed back onto the floor in shock as she witnessed her father on his bed filled with the spirit of the  Lo rd and also his cell phone.

 

She heard the words of Jesus telling her that she must finish what her father had started and her hand snaked down under her normally-tight-fitting chastity belt to knock on Satan's doorbell. It had been nice and snug just the night before but miraculously her hand had found its way down Jesus' path. She thanked the lord for being so clear in letting her know his plan for her. Her head full of visions of her father and her hand guided by God, she slowly began to rub over and around the heavenly place on her body that until that moment Jesus had seen fit to deny her. Chloe continued to pray for her father while touching herself, feeling waves of God's glory striking through her but never actually going to Heaven.

Chloe and Rayford collapsed at the same time onto their own respective beds, filled with faith that following Jesus' plan would only lead to greater glory than what they had experienced that night. They thanked Jesus for leaving them so beautifully frustrated. They thanked Jesus for showing them the way.

 


End file.
